Musicians Jokes

Bass players

What is the definition of a bass note played perfectly in tune?
Pure coincidence.

Just before going on stage a band leader is surprised to see the bass player of the group leaning against the dressing room wall crying.
"What's the matter?', he asks.
'The piano player has de-tuned one of my strings.' sobbed the bassist.
'So, what's the problem?'
'He won't tell me which one!'

How can you tell when a bass player is knocking at your door?
It gets slower.

What do a bass player and a terrorist have in common?
They both mess up bowings.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the piano player can do that with his left hand.

Drummers

What do you call people who hang out with jazz musicians?
Drummers!

Why are drummers always losing their watches?
Everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.

One night, a front man said to the drummer, "When the band starts to swing, I want you to play more on the ride cymbal." The drummer replied, "When the band starts to swing, will you please raise your hand?"

What is the difference between a drummer and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathizers.

How can you tell when a drummer has used your computer music notation programme?
Because of the white out all over the screen.

Did you hear about the drummer who was locked up in jail?He asked for 8 bars in front!

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to do it and nine to tell him they can do it faster.

What's the difference between a drummer and a bass player?
Half a beat.

How can you tell when a drummer is knocking at your door?
It gets faster.

Singers

A certain chick singer of questionable talent commented on the band bus:
"I'd rather sing than eat."
To which one of the band members replied:
"I'd rather listen to you eat."

How does a singer change a light bulb?
She stands on a chair, takes hold of the bulb, and waits for the whole world to revolve around her.

What is the difference between a vocalist and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

What do a vocalist and a terrorist have in common?
They both blow bridges.

Why do singers never say anything bad about musicians?
Because they're too busy talking about themselves.

Why do chick singers always leave all the doors open?
So they can come in when they like.

Music History

Music history, sometimes called historical musicology, is the highly diverse subfield of the broader discipline of musicology that studies the composition In theory, "music history" could refer to the study of the history of any type or genre of music (e.g., the history of Indian music or the history of rock). In practice, these research topics are nearly always categorized as part of ethnomusicology or cultural studies, whether or not they are ethnographically based.

The methods of music history include source studies (esp. manuscript studies), paleography, philology (especially textual criticism), style criticism, historiography (the choice of historical method), musical analysis, and iconography. The application of musical analysis to further these goals is often a part of music history, though pure analysis or the development of new tools of music analysis is more likely to be seen in the field of music theory. (For a more detailed discussion of the methods see the section on "Research in Music History" below) Some of the intellectual products of music historians include editions of musical works, biography of composers and other musicians, studies of the relationship between words and music, and the reflections upon the place of music in society.